She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
