He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
