i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
