i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
