Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
