im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I came so hard my ears popped.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
