OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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