im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
