D3 body, D1 cock
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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