I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
not ubering you a puppy
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