i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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