ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Acid is not a monday night drug
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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