There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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