I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
