I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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