nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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