umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
