capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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