i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
