I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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