I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
