He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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