sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Is it because I queefed?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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