Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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