"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
