Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
