dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
