a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
