I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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