Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
