Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
