Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
