Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
