If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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