i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
