Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
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