Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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