She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
