The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
