I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
