i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
