Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
