Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
