i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
