Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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