The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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