Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
