Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
