there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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