we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i would one night stand the shit outta him
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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