Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
