i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
