The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
