My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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