In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
