He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
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