Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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