is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
