I want to stick my p in your. b.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I checked into jail on foursquare
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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