oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
