I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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