i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
