Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
