Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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