I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
