so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
