Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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