Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Having a random hookup so left but love u
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
