I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Are my feet made of real feet?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize